What a Difference 6 Months Can Make
While I have remained true to who I am, my whole world has changed by one Simple Reminder.
I originally wrote this 6 months ago , almost to the day (August 9, 2015) and my, how far I have come, while remaining who I am....
I wrote this I have been asked why I hadn't written anything lately, that my "stories" are immensely enjoyed and deeply missed when I don't put up anything for a few days or longer. The truth is I don't live my life on Facebook. I will pop in from time to time, catch up on my feeds and frankly don't seem to fit in anywhere. I am okay with that, I am what I am and I love me for who I am and I love all of my friends and family just as they are as well. Here is what I get from the feeds---pictures, lots of pictures, of people going and doing and always out and about doing whatever it is that they love (I'm guessing they love it, they're doing it) ALL. THE. TIME. Frankly I would never have to leave the comfort of my couch and be exhausted just reading the feeds.
Very few of these people say what they are feeling or experiencing, deep down. Or what is truly going on IN their lives, perhaps the occasional rant about something that annoyed them or that isn't going quite the way they would like. And that is okay. But it isn't really uplifting to me. I never rant (okay at home with my housemates I do go off about Big Brother and the houseguests from time to time but usually pardon myself after the fact) and if I don't "get" something in human behavior I ask questions to enlighten myself.
Seldom does anyone post the joy they are feeling, for no reason whatsoever. So I then wonder if I am the only one who feels that all the time. Sure, I have my days where my energy is low, normally due to overthinking stuff, but I don't involve others in it because it is something I have to work on IN myself. We all have all the answers we will ever need in life, if we just quiet our minds and listen to our hearts for that is where Divine guidance is. Normally, for me, I don't need or require an occasion or event to happen to feel joy, I just am joyful. Okay, that may be part of my charm, however, finding others who understand it is another matter altogether. This does not mean that everything is perfect and working like a well oiled machine in my day to day life, only that I accept each moment as it is and am grateful for all of it.
If I were someone else looking in at my day to day life I would say it sucks to be me but I don't judge anything and just accept that it takes some manure that stinks for a while to have the lovely smell of the blossoms after the stink is gone. If we want rainbows, we have to have the rain and I consider that a small price to pay so I am grateful for the rain (and the manure) during those periods.
But I digress. While I am pleased that my family and friends are doing whatever they are doing, I wonder if they know how to BE rather than DO. My son could never quite grasp growing up why I liked to live "out in the sticks", as he would say and why I spent so much time alone. I like the peace and quiet and I love my own company, I am comfortable in my own skin. And I love nature, to connect to it, to drink it in, to BE with it. To be in awe of it. And know I came from it, am part of it and will one day return to it. Sure, I hug trees, literally, and am not ashamed of that, they love it, too. They are living and growing and stand without judgment, all individual and yet connected. Like us, to us.
While I enjoy seeing pictures of your gardens and children, even grandchildren and family and friend pictures it would appear to me that you all lead far more exciting lives than what mine would appear to look like. I am not jealous. For me a trip to the grocery store, yes a little mundane task such as that, is exciting. Staying ever present in the moment, aware of and in awe of my surroundings and taking joy with me and sharing it wherever I go. The question is, do you wake up with a smile on your face and gratitude in your heart? Expecting wonderful things to happen to you and vowing to be a blessing to someone, anyone, everyone you come into contact with for the day? No matter what your circumstances? Yes, I am the square peg that doesn't fit in the round hole that doesn't fit in the circle of internet society. I get, as they say, lost in translation through the internet, while to know me in person is to love me. Ask anyone who really knows me.
The past few years Facebook has been more of a "keep it" place for me. A place to store my pictures while on vacation or to take pictures off of my phone to my put on my pc for use in my business as well as my ponderings and deepest thoughts (and if you should deem them as shallow-don't judge me please and if you must judge me go ahead and block me now because you are missing the whole point anyway) and little things that excite me (like tadpoles and butterflies) in my daily life.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the whole point was that while you are all busy doing, I am busy being since I thought (Chrissy logic) that was why we are in the classification of HUMAN BEINGS. I didn't sign up to be a human doing. Didn't even realize I could. Neither is wrong and I am not judging, just stating my truth. As my sis said "not one size fits all" and she was correct as there are a million ways to get to the top of the mountain and each path is for the ease of its traveler and while I might not take the well worn paths and tend to blaze my own trail, I can actually see from the top of it already and the view is incredible.
And NO there are no narcotics involved in my process if all of that makes you think I am certifiable Is it crazy to love and be love personified, to be joyful because you breathe? Well if the answer is yes to that question then perhaps I am crazy. But it works for me. Because I can say I love me, can you say the same about you?
What a difference 6 months can make. While I still carry the same feelings of joy, hugging trees and enjoying the moments, I am now all over Facebook and interacting directly with the finest group of people, family, that anyone could want, all from a Simple Reminder broadcast that popped up and asked me to go to Beroyal.com and I did. And I am so loved just for being me and allowed, ENCOURAGED to be me, without judgment. You can't beat that with a stick.