Living My Dream, I Just Didn't Know It
Until reading someone's article, I had not really known , I had been Living my Dream Life
Living My Dream
I knew Long time ago there was something inside me that was so different then others, and have been writing about it basically all my life, A Lot of My friends would say tune in to Tammy haha , no joke I am a One of a kind You ain't right girl ! I like me. Though there are many things I didn't like one was my anger I could stop but and jump in a window and ride off quicker than the light would change to green ,, My temper has always gotten me into trouble , because no one taught me how to control it !
It's true that Hurt people hurt. Most don't even realise they are hurting others while some do it because they were conditioned to it, and like myself I hated hurting people and still do. I am a protector, I wear my armor well. But at the same time, I kept others from getting to really know me, the real me, The Loving Caring Tammy.
Showing off my armor and standing erect and daring someone to touch me or others around me left me vulnerable to those who got a kick out of doing just that. Hurting others because it made them someone > so they were taught. No one is born a bully or born to hate. Everyone is conditioned over many years and some learn very young. They got a power high from it . They could make others do what they wanted them to do out of fear. I was a victim to that behavior at a very young age. My only way out was to be down right mean as hell ! That meant if you touched me or my friends you took a butt whoopin from me.
I still have that protector spirit . Oh yes I do, but I also am older and wiser and usually can call out whatever hateful spirit that is guiding that person and reach into their heart before it ever comes to graveling. I know that spirit so well, The undeserving , the misplaced , The hurting , the suicidal, the not belonging , The not knowing any better, sometimes it takes me a bit to talk to someone to find out what exactly are they mad at and if its even worth my time to even talk to them or plant seeds of hope and love in them.
My dream has always been to reach out to the hurting and the lost and give them hope , to help extenuate their God given gifts and or help them find what it is they are good at , Sometimes this happens immediately and sometimes it takes years for one to accept who they are and what they really want to do with their life. I was blessed though very hard , I was exactly who I wanted to be I was a mother I loved my kids your kids everyone's kids , I was aunt Tammy to more than I can count , I would be walking through a store or swimming in a pool and a baby would Just reach out for me and grab me by the neck , It's so amazing , Parents would tell me ,wow He or she has never done that I'm so sorry , but me I'm tickled pink I LOVE IT.
So every time I help someone hurting or lost or just down right needs a hug or to be noticed ,I am living my dream ! I have never desired to be rich and famous though I have been spoiled by the best , and was totally lost because I thought that I had to act or be or do something I wasn't , I know if God were to lift me again I know now where my place is and has always been ! Being alive and able is a dream in itself !!!!!