The Other Side of Cupid

Frank Michel provides steps to heal when love is heartbreaking.

The Other Side of Cupid

The Other Side of Cupid

The Other Side of Cupid

When a romantic relationship ends, you shift gears dramatically. 

You're forced to, whether you like it or not.  Your life turns upside down in a heartbeat, and it can get rather ugly and unbearable fast.  It feels as if you're sinking in quicksand, and nobody is there to pull you out.

Are you going to go under, or extricate yourself from this difficult situation?  Is it love lost, or housing, a job, and finances too?  Are there children involved?  Is a marriage about to end?  Do you become destitute overnight?

It's easy to be caught unprepared and become fearful, embarrassed, and panic-stricken.

What will your future look like?  Are your emotions all over the place?  Are you physically shaking and not thinking clearly?  Are you afraid to ask for help?  Too embarrassed?  Now what?

You have to feel the pain in order to release it. 

Don't bury your feelings or deny the relationship ever existed or had flaws.  Honor its positive aspects, but acknowledge that the relationship was appropriate for only a certain period of your life.  That was then, this is now.  Get over it and get on with your life.  Move on with the right attitude.  You'll need to be open-minded and optimistic.  After all, it could have been worse.

Don't forget the differences and why the relationship ended. 

Set your limits for grieving the relationship, and ask for healing energy to fill your heart and soul.  You're going to rediscover the single life and your own personal strength.  The strength you have and the recovery steps you take will prepare you for your next relationship.

Ask for help. 

Share your story with loved ones as well as close friends and associates.  Don't bear alone the burden of a failed relationship.  It's okay to talk about what happened.  There's no shame in sharing.  You need a strong social network around you when you're vulnerable, emotionally overwhelmed, and in pain.  Love will need to flow to you as well as through you.

They'll be no gain unless you work to stabilize your emotions and get back on your feet.  Fight any negative feelings of self-doubt, self-worth, and self-love.  Fight the "big D" -- DEPRESSION!  Make each day a day to recover your self-identity.

If you have to take time off from work to reinforce the foundations of your life, then do it.  That investment will pay off quickly.  Set your goals and chip away at them daily.  Would you benefit from counseling and/or a doctor's visit?  A massage or spa day?  Some retail therapy?

Get rest, exercise, socialize, and remain optimistic. 

Explore nature.  Meditate and pray.  Play music and force yourself out of your shell.  Don't wall yourself off and withdraw from society.  You need people and to enjoy life.

You are going to get through this difficult time and reinvent yourself as a happy, whole, and loving person capable of being loved in return.  You'll attract the right partner once you heal.  It takes time.  This may not have been your first relationship and it may not be your last.

Remember, all relationships are learning experiences. 

Stay focused on what you have now, the progress you've made, the challenges ahead, and the constants in your life.  You're going to be alright.  Time heals.  Spring comes after winter.  Love will bloom again just as flowers do each spring.