The Four Leaves of a Lucky Clover
This simple remainder is about my own conception of forgiveness.
I have learned that there are four steps to have good luck in life with the people around us.
There is a lot of people talking about being free by using forgiveness and I just found these steps in order to be free from it and have great luck with others.
Step one UNDERSTANDING
All of us have gown in a different ways about what's good and what's bad, everything depends on our paradigms, life's story, experiences, childhood education, thalamus, inner child, spirituality, etcetera, so depending on these is the way we act and react.
When we understand that others actions are very personal decisions and some times many of these actions are what we do not accept in others, it isn't the person who hurts or bother us, the actions or behaviors are, this is UNDERSTANDING and this is the most important point of my subject, because depending of our understanding is our own personal attitude and react about the others actions.
Step Two NO JUSTIFYING
Just because I understand that a person's actions bothers me or hurst me doesn't mean that I have to justify it. Understanding doesn't mean justification. Fire is fire and not because we don't know its secondary effects saves us from a bad reaction or a bad manipulation, and because we love ourselves we cannot justify others actions when they are hurting us, and if we do it this can make us real victims of very negative toxic and sick situations.
Step three FORGIVENESS
If I handle these two steps mentioned before then I am ready to forgive. Forgiveness means I understand that others actions can hurt me in my ego and pride, not the person that I love, because if I love someone I have to understand that it is not the person who hurts, the actions of this person are different than mine and they are personal decisions and their rights to act in the way they decide, the same choices and rights that I have for myself and is very probably that my ego is suffering because the others actions and decisions are not in the way of my expectations.
Step four GROWING BY LEARNING
When I understand and I forgive I am growing in life, because now the others actions are not going to affect me anymore and in case they do it, when I apply understanding and forgiveness about those were their personal choices then I can forgive and give more opportunities to this person that I love, as long as I want to, but I have to be very conscious that they could do the same actions again and again even when he or she already knows that those actions hurts. So if I can see clearly the total panorama that in the future the same situations can be repeated then I am totally ready to take the correct decision in a very mature way. In fact what I am trying to explain in this is that if we understand we are not responsible for the others actions and we cannot control others behaviors, no matter how much we love them and they love us. We do not need to forgive them or forgive all of the time for their personal attitudes and choices, if we decide to forgive others actions, it has to be with no regrets and if we decide to stay with them, we shouldn't be repeating all of the time what they did to us, if we cannot handle a real forgiveness then we have to move from them, for our own good and theirs and having a very adult attitude, because that's going to give us freedom. Only the people that we love can hurt us but this is a simple remainder that actions are what we need to understand in order to be in peace with ourselves and then we can take our own decisions about to stay and work together or leave and always remember that if we stay they could repeat the same situations over and over until they take their personal decision and change their way of acting and reacting in life and to their beloved ones, but the actions are part of our own nature and actions are part of our own rights, so let's grow up and be free with out having the necessity to use forgiveness too often by understanding that it is not the person what we need to forgive and understanding that actions are what we reject, when we think we need to use forgiveness this conception is going to make us free by using forgiveness less often.
"There is a very thin line in forgiveness between a hurt ego and a pure noble heart."
"Too often we let our hurt ego and pride blind us."
Have a good royal Luck