The only person who can hurt you, is you.

Accepting, owning and exercising the responsibility you have to yourself. Reclaiming your power. Being the hero of your story.

The only person who can hurt you, is you.

Yes, of course, people can do hurtful even horrible things to you. But you're the only one who decides whether or not to be hurt by them, how much you'll be hurt by them and for how long. Every moment you decide to continue to be hurt, is a moment in which you have decided to continue to be hurt.

We are accountable to ourselves. We need to own all of ourselves. We need to accept and exercise responsibility.

It's easy to deflect the blame on others. They behaved poorly, therefore it's their fault, right?  Wrong.  How they act is their business. How we act is ours. How we react is also our responsibility.

No one will take control of anything they have determined to be out of their control. Once we have assumed a victim mentality we've given away that control. We've stated to the world and universe that we have no power. Then we truly are a victim,  but we're a victim of ourselves.

It's hard to guard your actions and reactions. It takes an enormous amount of self-control and discipline. However, it is always better than the alternative of giving away your power.

Remember, you don't need to act in angst. You don't need to always react right away. It's often well worthwhile to take a minute, take a breath, step away from the situation and cool off. It can leave us much more clear headed on what we should do next. What should our next course of action be? What should we do next? 

Acting from an emotional place will often lead to decisions we will regret later. It's far better to think things through a bit.

You're not a victim of life unless you choose to be. I've seen people close to death who embraced every moment they had because they chose to, because they wanted it to be worth something. I believe this message is universal. It could apply to anyone, anywhere in almost any situation.

It may take a bit of time and work to let go of hurt at times. It may even require help or therapy and that's perfectly ok. As long as we take responsibility that it is our duty to help ourselves, before it is anyone else's duty.

Many a therapist will tell you, that the first step to change, to helping yourself is to be willing and ready to do so.  

No one can decide for you. I'm sure we all know someone who complains all the time, or perhaps we ourselves are the one doing the complaining. Are all of the things that we complain about really beyond our control? Do we have any responsibility to bear in terms of self-help and self-care?

I'm not saying you should never, ever allow yourself to be hurt. Sometimes, it's necessary. Sometimes we need to grieve or find closure. All of our emotions are valid and  perfectly ok to experience. The point is to do so knowing you're making that choice. Recognizing that choice will give you a lot more control. It will give you more control to prevent everything spiralling into chaos, or from becoming never ending suffering.

I encourage you, to take control to take back your power. Make the time and effort to invest in yourself. Self-care and healing. Taking time for stillness and contemplation. Reflect on your own behaviour. Decide what kind of person you want to be and then take the steps to be that person.

The next time someone does or says something hurtful to you, keep your secret power in your back pocket. You have a choice on how it affects you. Are you going to give it any of your precious time or energy? You can redirect your focus to something that inspires you, something that excites your passions, something that brings you joy. Take your power back!