Do You Really Want, What You Say You Want? Do You?

Examining the reality of what it takes to get from where you are to where you want to be. How honest are you being with others? How honest are you being with yourself. Is this path the right one for you?


You either want something, or you don’t. Seems obvious, doesn’t it? Well, not quite. Let’s take it a bit further. If you want something, then you also ‘want everything’ that comes with it. If you don’t want what comes with it; then guess what?! You really didn’t want it in the first place!

If what you ‘want’ doesn’t occupy space, time and energy in your life. If it doesn’t involve some frustration, exasperation, anger, sadness, or fear; then I dare say: It’s not real!  It’s a fairy tale!

You have to "want what you want", as Bryant McGill would say; but you have to ‘want all of it’. Let’s take a relationship for example. If it doesn’t ever cause you any grief, consider that maybe while you might physically be ‘in’ the relationship; mentally and emotionally you may have ‘checked out’ of the relationship. Relationships take an active presence in order to actually ‘be’ relationships. You can’t ‘care’ without caring and caring isn’t just for sunny days.

Apathy is the opposite of caring.  If you’re apathetic towards something, then it isn’t something you want. This is not to say that we should attach ourselves to outcomes, not at all.  At some point however, we have to decide what path we want to travel on and do whatever it takes to be on that path. No one can just free fall through life and hope that  things will just magically just happen for them. No one can hope that everything will just magically fall into place without any effort. Everything comes with a price. You have to pay the price to get the reward.

You can manifest. You can plan. However, if after that, all you do is sit on your thumbs; you neither have wanted for nor will you receive, whatever it is you hoped for. It’s that simple.

Sometimes, it seems that people just want to receive the reward of whatever it is they want without any of the work. Sorry folks; while you may be able to take shortcuts and make it easier, there isn’t going to be a free lunch. If you want to be a writer, for example, you better be pumping out writing. If you want to be a speaker, you better be speaking. But wait, there’s more: A writer doesn’t ‘only’ write, a speaker doesn’t ‘only’ speak. There are many more aspects that need to be dealt with in order to launch and maintain a career in either field and yes, some of those may be very frustrating and difficult.

I’ve personally struggled with the technical side of things.  I felt like I was akin to an idiot fumbling around in the dark. Did I give up? No! I kept fumbling through it. I am still fumbling my way through it! I know that if I want to be a writer or speaker, I have to do what it takes. I don’t just get to sit outside on a beautiful sunny day to do some writing.  I don't just get to hop up on any stage and speak.

I equate the struggles to growing pains. I keep plugging away at what I know I need to do. I don’t understand many things, yet I keep at them. I know eventually everything will get easier. The only way I can ever hope to be a writer or speaker is by embracing all of what it takes. The hard work comes first. The hard work is part of the journey. The reward comes after.

The next time, you say that you want something, watch your behavior. If you try to cop out of doing what it takes, if you hide behind excuses, if you just don’t want to do what it takes then perhaps reconsider: Is what you think you want actually something that you do in fact want?

I really love this saying:“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”, by Aristotle. It’s not just to avoid criticism. If you do nothing, you will be nothing. If you do only the parts you really love, you will also be nothing. It takes what it takes. It takes all of it. Own it, accept it, embrace it and do it. Want all of what you want!