A catalyst of events that woke me up.

Enlightening day

Normal Normality this is how I  would explain my life, isn't this how everyone perceives their life to be ?  you accept so much in life without question, just plodding on wanting, dreaming but never questioning.

I have so many stories from my childhood, but for now I just want to share that everything remained normal until the day my mum died.

After her passing I felt instantly engulfed in loss, abandoned totally alone bereft, what was I going to do now ? that's it I thought no one will ever love me unconditionally again.

When you lose some one you love, life is never the same again, normality disappears and in its wake comes a black hole of nothingness  life is scrambled into a million pieces, and you now have the mammoth task of piecing it all back together like a huge jigsaw, the trouble is though the pieces have changed unrecognisably and its so too hard to fit it all back together.

all your life you believe people are who they seem to be, you know these people are steadfast, loyal, loving, understanding, caring, but don't be lured into a false sense of security, because as life progresses everything including the people you thought you knew change, my eyes have been opened and I'm not the same anymore either, things changed because they had to change I had to feel abandoned to learn what it is to rely upon myself, I had to learn rejection to learn what it means to care for yourself, I had to learn pain to know how to heal myself,  all the things that brought me to enlightenment had to happen I see this now, in fact my motto in life is everything happens for a reason, and it truly does, learn the lessons you need to learn, gain the knowledge to make your life worth living, let go of things and people that don't bring you joy, know that in your darkest days you are actually in a lesson have faith that it will pass and when you emerge you emerge changed, stronger, and happier, I know now to pause and wait for things to come to light before I react,

Forgive anyone who hurt you including yourself, let go of what you thought life should be and embrace what is! get busy creating the life you want with the people you know love you, and never look back