What And Why Do We Fear?
My story of how I got over one of my fears......
Fear of the unknown
So what is it about fear that we fear. It is described as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. So then let’s take a look at the belief. The example of belief I use here is something that happened to me as a child. I was sexually abused and molested by a pedophile, a neighbor and I was lead to believe that If I told anyone what had just happened my parents would be murdered. What a horrible belief to live with as a child. As an adult I know that I spent years fearing this person and held on to that fear and pain in my box of secrets. After much therapy I also know that I could have gone to my parents and told them and that the police would have been called and charges would have been pressed but as I child I did not think that way.
What I have learned in my life is this that if we can confront people who have instilled fear into us along our life journey then do that. I had a choice with my sexual abuser’s, sadly there were more than one. I had the choice of either confronting them and going to the authorities or putting those fears back in a box and placing them back on a shelf far at the back in my memory bank never to revisit them again. As my Abusers had since expired I decided that I would write them a letter and tell them what I thought of them and how their disgusting actions had impacted my life. I then ripped up the letter took it to the beach one day and burnt it letting all that fear, that hurt go up in a cloud of smoke. Yes, it was very therapeutic but if you choose to go this route, have someone there to support you as it is a very emotional,draining thing to do.
When I was a little girl I used to come home after these horrendous acts were committed against me and I would go and take my father’s razor and cut my fingers. In away now I see that was for someone to see the blood and to get someone to ask me what happened, why was I doing that. This is not a uncommon act for a child to do “cutting” so please watch your children,your grandchildren for signs on their fingers, their arms, their legs. Ask them what is going on and tell them they should never fear telling you the adult if someone is threatening them, ask what is going on in their lives that they are harming themselves or seek professional help. Teenagers turn to drugs and alcohol so look for those signs too.
Another fear is when we imagine the worst possible case scenarios for our actions and we can’t sleep, eat and make ourselves physically ill for what, for fear of the unknown? That disease that feeling does only that; it brings “disease” what a way to live a life, it is not living at all...